Lessons learned

Another day, another month, another year and time going fast... as it goes I get to know me more and know this world wrapping me... I keep the smile, the thought and feel every part of my growing more eager to knowledge... I learn to appreciate what I have and get more content about things I lost and others I will never have and yet keep in that deep corner of my soul...

I'm a dreamer that keeps the rational path guidance through every step... I have that kind of contrast that creates all the confusion in me... I want to be the dreamer I am inside and in the same time, I am a practical and critical mind full of demands... so, do I ask for too much? or I'm only asking for enough because I deserve that too much? will I be missing something and realize it only one day when it would be too late?

Scared by the unknown and afraid of missing the right path... I am completely missing on the real joy of enjoying it all... the small parts of existence and the parts that make the big picture... my picture of my life as it is ... but deep inside I'm only a person who wants to find that dreamy person who is able to make my life end as I know it... and I know that I wont lose hope in finding him...because as I exist, I'm sure he does as well... my true soul mate is somewhere... simply hanging with all the wrong women ... for now ;)

Hit by cupid

Hit by THE arrow that got me wounded and I don't even know why or how I caught it... I was looking for peace and happy I found it somehow and then HE simply showed up in my life with his smart comments, quick grasp of my sarcasm...The flow of words that could keep me interested happy and excited... the upbeat and rush of blood I could feel when hearing his voice.. All that got me into wanting to know him more, be with him more, understand him more and tease him more...I did not know that I walking toward a path that would take me to another LOVE... and to more pain about a difficult long distance relationship... Why am I doing this to myself ?!? uhhhh

Home Again

After a week back home, I realized that I stayed too long in a foreign country!! 

The timeframe of most activities seems to get longer since people don't give the same importance to time here and for some reason they even do stress more about things (maybe because they are some 30 min LATE) 

The traffic got me on my nerves when the taxi I was riding simply switched lanes so fast and had that turn between two cars.. I was only catching on my breath and trying to focus on other things, but it's that feeling that started me to think that I stayed too long abroad (in a country where cars follow one lane and signal ahead of time to switch lanes) and I am experiencing another reverse culture shock! 

Walking on the crowded streets with dim lights where people still stare and wonder where you are going with that extra mile, the kind of transportation you are heading to and where you are coming from.... And of course the male companions on the sidewalk have to inform you about their presence and share with you their thought about your eyes, beauty or some insignificant comment about the weather.. The time when a patriarchy shows it's roots in the behavior of SOME men who don't know how to respect a woman in an empty or full stress.

Well, I guess I will simply have to take the time to adjust and get used to the streets. the looks, the lateness, the people and overall culture since it's MY culture after-all !! ummm or I might just take what suits me and not get that much bothered by the other things ... 

 

WAITING !!!!

Waiting and waiting and waiting... waiting for a bus, for a taxi... waiting at home, in the street or in the office...waiting for love, waiting for happiness or waiting for a sign !

what are we all waiting for...? is it an event or a person ... maybe it is for some hope coming with a sunrise or simply peace with another sunset..

Who has the control at that moment...? the moment itself embedded in the circumstances or what we call "mektab" or time as the eternal enemy forcing our steps and binding our decisions or it is that person or event we are waiting for that is chaining us to that seat, that day in such moment and condemning our will to leave in order to make us wait for some reason...
Maybe not after all... we have the choice to leave that chair and but we stick to the place and to the seat and WAIT... because or our interest at that time... so it is our SELF that binds us... not time, not circumstances and not others (maybe little since not many people are very punctual).

P.S. These were just some notes while waiting in an office for some people who were not in time for their meeting !!!

Things about me...

Your Birthdate: March 14

You work well with others. That is, you're good at getting them to do work for you. It's true that you get by on your charm. But so what? You make people happy! You're dynamic, clever, and funny. And people like to have you around. But you're so restless, they better not expect you to stay around for long. Your strength: Your superstar charisma Your weakness: Commitment means nothing to you Your power color: Fuchsia Your power symbol: Diamond Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Trip of discovery...

A lonely passenger in a full train, a long day behind in a return trip from a ‘future work’, feeling hope and desperation in that cold train. I forgot my Mp3 player at home, an addiction of mine, I checked my phone and my last missed calls and messages, another addiction. Since I don’t have any units left to return the missed calls and I need to wait for the 18th of this month (my friends wait also for their calls) for another shot of units – why I have to wait is another story!

Finally, I started my session of observation and thinking, something between an addiction and a must do which is always pulling me around… thinking about the train and this trip and some unknown future… It is dark outside; I only see my reflection in the window … so I look at the girl next to me reading a book and thinking about the zillions times I wanted to get some book in French to serve both for practicing French (I need to do) and pleasing my love for reading (do I have time for that pleasure) and it always end up to be in English!!! Well, continuing my habit of looking around … no other passenger around to spark my curiosity.

I continued thinking about life and getting into that state of mind (between philosophy and simple thoughts..) deciding to write it was a usual step but to dedicate it for my blog was a pretty new idea! Well I thought about my friend k.T. and her addiction to blogging (my test score was only 34%) after last evening while thinking in a train about some idea for my blog… I guess I need to redo that test!

So should I thank you my friend or curse you for this new addiction!!! Well.. I can only love u :)
P.S. The 7things about me will be next… so keep checking ;)

back to life

Dear visitors,
Do we decide to get away of reality or does reality choose us to swim in deep darkness? I have been away for a while... not to say a LONG while! Busy with work with life with thinking and looking for a path to hope… Finally I found a plan to follow and I am so happy to say that I am back to life … not to say it will be rosy because it will be idealism!!! I would like to thank all those who supported me to go on...

It is just a path towards a new life and a new experience with its positive and negative future decisions :)

So wish me luck!